becoming israel


this one thing.
April 25, 2010, 8:32 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I missed church last week so I listened to the message while at work and amidst the half-listening while a million other things were going on, a specific part stuck out to me. My pastor is speaking about shattered dreams over the next few weeks and what happens “when God doesn’t show up the way you thought He would.”

If you have 30 minutes, listen/watch this message. If not, fast forward to about 26 minutes. I think this message is pretty universal but it hits me deeply in relation to what I’ve struggled with for the past 10 years now.

There’s a point where he says he knows that God could basically snap his fingers and make his unborn baby’s heart beat. That he knew it wouldn’t even make God sweat to breathe life into that child…but He didn’t. In the same way, I’ve had so many fights and screaming matches with God knowing that – in an instant – He could make these feelings, these thoughts, these dreams, these addicting highs just go away. He could completely change my heart and my mind so I wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore.

But He didn’t. And when he didn’t, I assumed He didn’t care. That’s because I put my faith in God’s ACTIVITY instead of His IDENTITY. Pete says your response in a moment like that matters. I think this idea sums up a lot of why I’ve made the decisions I have over the past 2 years. I’ve decided to put my faith in who God says He is – in the promise that He has not left me and will never forsake me. I am learning to “trust that You are God and I am not.”

I’ve been holding this tightly over the past week and it has given me a little more confidence. As if maybe I’m hearing God speak to me more clearly and continuing to lead me in my journey. My thinking now is not that He didn’t show up the way I wanted Him to because He didn’t care, but because He had a better plan all along. Because, really, how strong would my faith be now if I treated God like the vending machine I sometimes act like He is – push the right buttons and get what I want?

I think we all have our “one thing” that we know God could fix in an instant but he doesn’t. My encouragement to you (and myself) is to focu56s on God’s identity and rest in the fact that He’s God and you are not. 🙂 If you want to share, what’s your one thing?

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5 Comments so far
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Wrote something pretty similar a few weeks ago…
http://ashleighcarroll.wordpress.com/2010/03/31/little-by-little/

Comment by ashleighcarroll

Thank you for your posts and courage! I also assumed that God didn’t care due to a terribly traumatic history that is still difficult to process. I’ve often wondered why God won’t just heal me and restore the things that were stolen. But I’ve learned to use my questions, doubts, frustration and anger as a form of worship. If he won’t do what I WANT (that’s RARE), then I at least beg him to make his presence known to me. I’ve been working through an amazing book called, “A Sacred Sorrow” by Michael Card. It has has so eye-opening and helped me find some peace for the unanswered questions that can distract me. Even though our struggles are different, you are not alone! Blessings to you. RC

Comment by RC

Thought was a well written response to the “argument” of homosexuality…

http://trevinwax.com/2010/04/26/jennifer-knapp-larry-king-why-we-always-lose-this-debate/

Comment by FierceHope

Wow, boy did I need to hear that today. Thank you so much for posting this. I’ve been doing some wrestling myself recently, and I too am going to hold on tight to WHO HE IS. God bless you for this post!!

Comment by CindyK

Small world. I actually know who Trevin is through friends. Thanks for sharing.

Comment by becomingisrael




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