Filed under: Uncategorized
This is super delayed. Shocker right? I went to write this several weeks ago and ended up not finishing it. I don’t know if you know, but about a month ago, Nashville (where I live) was severely flooded and several hundred people or more were affected. Fortunately, my house was safe and didn’t have any damage but several people from my church lost their homes.
The Sunday after the flood, I was driving to church thinking about the Exodus conference (which I’m going to, by the way) and what I was expecting it to be like. Every time I think about it, all kinds of anxiety build up and I feel like I could possibly lose it at any moment. Mostly because of the element of the unknown…but more on that later. Anyhow, having this on my mind, I got to church a little late and came in during worship. I ended up sitting right in front of one our staff members leading worship whose home had been completely flooded. She had lost just about everything she owned from a house her and her husband had bought and moved into not long before.
As I stood there, getting situated, it hit me that she was singing about how nobody can provide like God can and how He is mighty. I wish so much that I could remember what song it was that we were singing. It might have been “Mighty To Save.” It felt like a slap across the face to see someone who had literally lost everything still praising God with all of her heart with a huge smile on her face. Because she knew that God is still God even if she has nothing.
This hit me because it made me feel so bratty. It reminded me of all the times I refused to sing about how wonderful God was because I wasn’t sure I believed it. I realized I still blame God for so much of what I struggle with and I love/worship Him conditionally rather than unapologetically. I think I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, I 100% believe it’s okay and a good thing to tell God you’re angry. But I think there’s a difference between saying you’re angry and taking your anger out on Him or blaming Him for your circumstances.
What I learned that day is that God is who He is all the time. He is worthy of praise all the time. He is with me all the time. And even if I have nothing or feel like I have nothing or just don’t have what I feel entitled to, He is still who He is and that is worthy to be praised. There are days when I feel like I have lost everything like our worship leader had and I know there will be more days like that. My prayer is that I remember the picture in my head of her worshipping with everything she had and learn how to do the same.
2 Comments so far
Leave a comment